Jennifer A. Chin (cswallow) wrote,
Jennifer A. Chin
cswallow

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¡Joder!

Dudes, 8 days left!

I can feel my Spanish getting better. The parts of my brain that deal with comprehension and foreign language speaking skills are sending little tendrils into the labrynthine part of my brain that contains all the spanish I've ever learned and starting to combine the two.

Last night I hung out in the Cathedral for a while, met with Pablo (my intercambio!) and his friend, and then met up with Stephanie and we hung out in the Plaza de Triunfo listening to people singing and talking half in Spanish and half in English for four hours and I was late to dinner. Lovely, lovely. Oh on Monday I went out to dinner with Pablo and his like 10 friends.. that was ridiculous. I was mostly silent seeing as how by the time I figured out how to say something to join in on the conversation it was too late. So yes, it felt a little odd being 20 and hanging out with a whole truckload of 18-year-olds. It isn't really such a problem when I'm talking one-on-one with him, or with him and one other friend, but I felt old on Monday. The worst part was that I was like "I'm older than you!" but at the same time I couldn't form good sentences, so then it was really more like being 1 1/2 years old.

Well anyway, other than that I'm good. I have a lot more studying for some classes than I thought I would, less than I thought in others, and exactly as I predicted in yet others. I suppose that balances me pretty well then :o) I can't believe my parents are coming in only 5 days. I gotta make sure I do everything I meant to!

also I was coming out of sleep the other morning (and I swear my brain does crazy things when I'm asleep because occasionally as I wake up in the morning I come up with short-story endings or other epiphanies) and I realized that after being in Sevilla I love the US of A all the more for the great things it is. I was just thinking about all the opportunities in the US that I've had that people here in Sevilla will never get. I also realized that most of the people in Sevilla, though they know a lot more about internaional events in general, don't necessarily have a greater grasp of the fundamental problems in the world. Plus they have to wait 6 months to get student ID cards that are linked to bank accounts.

Still I don't want to leave. Oysh, I've just been doing so much thinking and reflecting lately. Wavering between the feeling of "must take in everything now" and an intense need to just soak up all the smells and colors and sounds, and between moments of depression in which I think I don't know what I'm goingn to do with myself after having to leave the friends and experiences I have had here. I knew all along my time was limited, but now that I'm finally faced with the end I don't know how to deal with it.
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