Jennifer A. Chin (cswallow) wrote,
Jennifer A. Chin
cswallow

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Last night I went out for coffee with Steph and we ended up talking for like 3 hours, which was marvelous. I had been feeling a little down this week, little lonely, but I feel better about things now, especially after having spoken to a couple other important folk (you know who you are). We always talk about our mutual frustrations, about what it's like to be where we are at this point in our lives, about jobs and school, about balancing our lives.
Anyway, I do want to be more involved with other campus stuff, not just dance, although dance is my main focus. So I'm trying to think of other ways that I can meet people at NU, not in a "I need to know more people" kind of a way, but "everyone expands my perception of the world" kind of a way. BLAST for me this year is, yes, an opportunity to be involved in dance, but it's so much more than that. I finally feel like I have the expertise that I can actually help and contribute to this club, not as a dancer, but as a leader and as someone who can inspire other people to feel good about themselves through dance. I think I can help people achieve things through BLAST, be happier, make connections with other people. I've been researching b-schools lately, and more and more I feel like this is real-life leadership experience - building and marketing a team, keeping people motivated and interested, and I'm really looking forward to forging that ground.
At the same time I've always felt like I've had to give things up that I wanted to do - with NUOC, or CSA. So I think sometimes I'm going to cut back on BLAST for other things, and that's going to be the right decision. For example, I already promised tonight to go to TGIF at nino's studio, but it's causing me to miss an Indian Garba, that I know would have been a lot of fun to go to with my suitemates. I don't know that going to TGIF still has anything to do with my immediate interests in BLAST.. even if it IS a nice opportunity to see people, so I think after today I'll probably skip it to spend time with people like Robert - who I never see b/c he's always at the Daily and his only free evenings are Friday and Saturday. I also have to miss Kemper's munchies EVERY WEEK because they're at 9, and I have dance from 8-10 (although I'm hoping I can run back from dance at 10). Munchies is such a key opportunity to meet people in Kemper, but I can't miss the professionally coached sessions.
But these are the choices we make in life, sacrificing one thing so that we can do another that we believe will benefit us better.

I think sometimes I need to continually remind myself not to sell myself short. I often find that it's so easy to believe you're not worth something or someone. I need to be more egotistical and just jump into things. So much of my life I feel like I've focused on being inoffensive, which is of course very useful for making friends and such, but not much good for feeling bold and giving myself the opportunities I deserve. In conclusion, don't take shit from anyone and uh, go for the gold.

Right. I've nothing else to say except for: it's definitely fall b/c the temperature dropped like 10 degrees the night before last. And now people are wearing sweaters and stuff.. at least it's still sunny!!!!
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