Robert IM'ed me yesterday asking if I wanted to celebrate the new year. I'm glad he did because I wouldn't have even thought that any body would want to go. So we went, me and Robert, Misuzu, Steve, Pascal, Peider and Benjamin. Old friends, comfortable and with so many stories behind us; New friends, full of discovery and stories yet to come.
That's what new beginnings are all about, aren't they? Celebrating and holding on to what's been, while looking forward to the future.
And in my own little way, I also remembered those who came before me. Remembering quietly my grandparents, those departed. My family, who I couldn't be with today, and what their new year's dinner would have been like. And also quietly grateful for the friends surrounding me - a Northwestern family of sorts.
We toasted to longevity, to prosperity. And while often those words have implications for life in general, I felt they had a special meaning tonight. It was more about the longevity of friendships, of prosperity in our connections with one another.
And always over too soon. But I guess that's the best part, that we know there will be many other great times around the dinner table. Falling into patterns together.
Tonight was also the second BLAST showcase. It's amazing - the creativity that people have for their pieces. The passion and the works they've created. At the same time, I'm feeling like I'm moving past it. I'm glad to be in one piece, but whereas two years ago I would have wanted to be in a solo, or yearning to be part of other ones, I'm content to sit back and simply enjoy what wonderful energy others have. I'm still working hard in Comp, that's for sure. I'm learning a lot of lead stuff, and it's making me a more complete dancer. And I love to just.. be with the team.
It's funny, there are some days when I feel so lonely. But I really do have so many different groups of people here whom I care deeply about, whom I believe in with a real passion and am delighted by their vivacity, humor, intensity. Everyday I realize how much I still have to learn from the people around me, and hope that I am sharing as much with them as they are with me.
I realize my past few entries have been deeply pensive. As I begin looking past my college life though, this is what I think about. Transitions. Being bold.
A part of me, too, has a yearning for some deeper connection. I look for it everywhere, that ever elusive feeling of belonging that you attain when once, just once, you spend a quiet evening together and just talk, walking or relaxing on the sofa.
Well anyway, Xin nian kuai le! May it bring you fortune and joy.