Jennifer A. Chin (cswallow) wrote,
Jennifer A. Chin
cswallow

I've been updating a lot lately but I think it's because lately I feel lost, and when I write it's like I'm rediscovering parts of myself. I can't wait to go home and relax and remember who I am. It's as if, in giving so much of myself to everything else, I don't know where I went anymore. It's not supposed to be that way. The way I always saw it being is that you have to truly understand yourself and be confident in yourself to be able to give of yourself. I never thought you could overkill on it. Lately when I talk to people, all I can talk about is my work. I have nothing else. I've forgotten how to talk about myself, who I am. I used to write about what was around me, the earth and nature, and now I've lost even the eloquence to do that.

My Milton professor wrote on my last paper that it was the best yet, and he was looking forward to seeing my final research paper. I wish I could give him the best paper possible, but with everything on my plate, I don't know that I can. Then again, maybe I just need to prioritize and realize that my 270 American Literary Traditions class is not one that I care about, same with Chinese or 20th c. Lit. That if there's any one paper that I want to put all my time and energy into, it's Milton. Well, I guess we'll see. For now the main thing is to get rid of this sore throat. To feel like I'm actually enjoying life again.
Tags: about cs, northwestern, writing
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