Jennifer A. Chin (cswallow) wrote,
Jennifer A. Chin
cswallow

  • Music:

The Real World

It seems years since I've written.
I woke up this morning to a gray sky. In the mornings I look out my window at the stout pine, half-naked from the ground side, and I judge the morning by the way the light reflects off of its trunk and the fence behind it. I feel sparkling. My heart is so full of everything. I go to check my email and there are two, two incredible, vibrant pieces of life to sweep me away. When I finish reading I walk away from my computer and lean against the smooth blue paint of my bedroom wall. I feel like the blind man in Amelie, after she takes his hand and leads him down the street, explaining every single sight until leaving him at the metro. He looks up into the sky and his heart is pounding, and the bright white of living overwhelms him.

Energy courses through every nerve in my body. Every inch of skin and flesh floods with inertia. I am awakened and fearless.

These things are love, and passion. And the incredible people filling my life astound me again and again and I think "if every day could be this significant, I will want for nothing more."

I am overwhelmed so often with gratitude - for my mom who fixes my ballroom gown until 1:30 in the morning. My dad who scolds me roundly about turning off the lights. Who forwards me funny emails i the middle of the day that he thinks I'll be interested in. This weekend I want to dance my heart out for them, to show them something beautiful and powerful about myself that they can take home. At times I feel so conscious of my place, of my smallness, but even this is swept away with the things I will do. The world will be changed, and I will be part of that change. Is this merely a dream? Where is the real world? In the midst of all this struggling, working, loving, I think I've finally found it.
Tags: about cs, family, movies
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