Jennifer A. Chin (cswallow) wrote,
Jennifer A. Chin
cswallow

Heavy

Heavy is the air of 3:30 am, the darkness outside pressing close and your breath fragile in a room suddenly too big with loneliness.  You knew it could be like this, because it feels too familiar for comfort, and you wish the feeling away. 

Two night ago I watched a policeman cuff a boy, because I was afraid and because of who knows what else in a child's life makes them go crazy and try to bite a cop who is patting him down. I saw what happens when people clash - when that .5% of genetic diversity and that 85% of growing-up diversity comes together, and nothing makes sense anymore - not race, not poverty, not education, and not reason. I considered the faces of the Durham police, wondering how many times they answer calls and are forced into action against fear. All this, and I have not even begun to speak about the ones I care about, who lost a car and over a year of work. I can't even talk about forgiveness.

These things change you, and when I sit awake in the darkness alone, and when I feel like a stranger in a house with people I love, I feel my own sanity slip. 


"Turbulence"
by Adrienne Rich

There’ll be turbulence. You’ll drop
your book to hold your
water bottle steady. Your
mind, mind has mountains, cliffs of fall
may who ne’er hung there let him
watch the movie. The plane’s
supposed to shudder, shoulder on
like this. It’s built to do that. You’re
designed to tremble too. Else break
Higher you climb, trouble in mind
lungs labor, heights hurl vistas
Oxygen hangs ready
overhead. In the event put on
the child’s mask first. Breathe normally
Tags: about cs, poetry
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