Jennifer A. Chin (cswallow) wrote,
Jennifer A. Chin
cswallow

But when

 No time to write fully, but I want to remember the red-headed anole that sat next to me on the LSRC wall today, his delicate digits resting on the stonework, and the paper thinness of his breath moving in the tiny bellows of his body. I want to remember jamming down the hill on my bike ride home, being startled by the vanilla scent of some invisible bloom.
It's spring and I've pulled my blinds up and tied them there. The trees come inside, so does the enormous spring moon, and the dawn light as I wake bleary-eyed for class. And when I smell the coffee brewing I feel happy and at home.
 
I've been questioning myself so much, every day of the past few weeks. But when during language exchange Edward is drawing me a map of the best restaurants in Beijing and I'm telling him what "grits" are; when Allison and Ashley and Azhar perch next to me and we talk about the future of Pakistan; when I see Rex for the first time in 2 months and he tells me his wife is pregnant; when Garner expounds on the joys of Jimmy Buffet; when I am sitting here in between a shower and a meeting and the azaleas are blooming, and so are the lilies from Clay, and so are my dancing dreams...
 
When all that, I can feel my body alive in the world - heart beating, nerves firing - and I realize that questions or not, this is my beautiful life.
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