I think I'm hitting that point where I'm completely overwhelmed by everything I need to do, and the lack of sleep is finally catching up to me.
The real problem here is that I'm really on the tipping point with ALL of my classes as far as being between grades. Which means if I put in a certain level of effort I'm guaranteed a good grade, but if I let any of them go (which I need to do, in order to sleep and/or get stuff together for the competition) then downhill they go.
Basically it's a lose-lose situation. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. Up the creek without a paddle. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Not that last one, but I thought I needed another cliche.
I wanted to turn my milton paper in on Friday but it was SO BAD that I couldn't in good conscience do it. So late Friday afternoon I thought a lot more about it, read the prompt a few more times for inspiration, and came up with a new thesis. I can use some of the same examples for this new paper, but in essence I'm rewriting about 3/4 of it. Which is ridiculous considering I stayed up ALL of Thursday night (except for a couple of hours) to finish the bad paper. I'm actually quite excited about my new topic - it's a pretty unique and powerful one. I was so bothered by my last one because really it was just me trying to cram together the thesis statements of every single other essay I had written, which produced nothing but a big mess. I might as well have turned in a large ball of 10 crumpled up pieces of paper held together with twine and zip ties. I would have gotten the same grade.
I went out swing dancing at Java Jive (U Chicago) last night with Steph and Grant. It was ridiculously fun. But I think it really contributed in large part to this freaking out that I'm doing right now. Sometimes I really wish I wasn't so anal, or didn't care so much about.. everything. I would be SO much less stressed out and I'd be sleeping and.. well. I guess there's no use thinking about that now. All I can say is thank goodness for really strong Iranian tea, which is helping to wake me up, and soothing my sore throat all at once. Hopefully I won't be too grouchy today.