In the past, I always thought "oh, I'm a 3rd generation chinese, what could I possibly have to write about?" And while I still don't know, I kind of think that I probably have SOMETHING. At any rate it made me start to look over some of my past discomfort with my Chinese identity. I've become so much more comfortable with it in just the past year, but often still feel very much a stranger when sitting in a group of all-Chinese people. It's still something I struggle to overcome, and am aware of in many ways. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud to be a 3rd generation who can still speak Mandarin, but I know I've often shut off the entire issue of identifying Chinese, or belonging to that group.
Malena cheered me when I told her I might be interested in dating someone asian, saying, "it's so hard to reach across that boundary of color to find someone you work well with - it's easier when you can just skip that step." In some ways I definitely agree - there are automatically cultural qualities that you can identify with each other, and it really is a relief to be able to do that. At the same time, I don't think it makes it any easier, because you can't chalk some differences up to culture, you have to deal with them head-on. Anyway, these are all evolving thoughts.
On to dinner.. and Milton :o)