Jennifer A. Chin (cswallow) wrote,
Jennifer A. Chin

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"Are you excited?"

I have just one paper left before I'll be finished with all of my undergraduate schoolwork. And then there's Milton..

Walking out of my chinese final today (I shook the professor's hand in thanks), I think I finally accepted the fact that I'll be leaving in a little over a week. It's funny that everyone else seems to think graduation is a bigger deal than I do. So much more weight should go on the process itself, as opposed to the completion of the process. People keep asking me this one question, "are you excited?" I never really know how to answer. If I say "excited for what?" they'll usually respond with, "to graduate." What does this mean? Are they asking me if I'm excited for the actual ceremony? Because.. then yes I am. But more than anything, I think they're asking if I'm looking forward to the end, which makes it suddenly a complex question - the end is the beginning of something new, it's the closing of a process, whether I think the process is complete or not. And no other senior would ever ask me this question. They realize the weight of such words, that this string of moments cannot be distilled into simple emotions like "excitement" or "sadness."

In two weeks from now, I will be sitting at home, shell-shocked and missing everything here.
Tags: about cs, northwestern
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