I've been doing a lot of thinking and realized that I'm actually a little relieved to have a break from the competitive partnership thing. I'm looking forward to seeking out things that I didn't feel like I could be a part of before. I'm looking to having time on my own, to working on my own dancing for me instead of for a partnership.
I don't feel annoyed or frustrated anymore. I'm just calm, pleased even. As my mom always says, "what will be, will be." Which is not to say that you shouldn't help guide your life on the right path. It's simply to say, if something happens don't be angry about it. If something comes from something else, that's the situation, and you should accept it and embrace it.
Since remembering these things, I've realized that in my time dancing with Ivan I've been completely introduced to the world of Bay Area competitive dance. I've been able to take lessons with some great people and have met some really amazing dancers because of it. I'm grateful for that, and I look forward to taking that forward with me, to seeing how I can help give back to this wonderful community, and how I can help become more a part of it than I have been before.
Yesterday I spent much time with long-time friends, and I realized that these are the ties that bind us: Our respect for one another (spoken and in action), acknowledgment and treatment of each other kindly, a true affection and responsibility for ourselves as people and how we affect the world around us.
These are good thoughts, they are strong thoughts that rest in the core of me. I feel excited about my lesson tonight, about practice, about life. Thank goodness for it.