Jennifer A. Chin (cswallow) wrote,
Jennifer A. Chin

Changes, Satisfactions

Gosh, I haven't written a journal entry in forever. Sadly, I haven't been writing in my real journal either.. I seem to have misplaced the one Derrick got me and which I loved, and since then I've been using random notebooks that I hate. I just got a new journal when I was in Yosemite last weekend, here's to hoping it inspires me to write more.

My brain is tired today, but I feel I should commemorate the New Year with some kind of monumental recap post, so here's my best attempt.

This year has been one of many changes...

I had the great privilege of managing a group of amazing people - so full of joy and energy for me and for our work. They taught me honesty, trust, and leadership.

I finally relaxed and began to enjoy myself with my coworkers, and they taught me how much I'd missed out on by letting my work consume me.

I lost out on my relationship, but am so lucky to still have a great friendship. That relationship, and it's end, taught me about selflessness and selfishness, about self-awareness, and gave me a new wisdom about what it takes to make love and partnerships work.

Dance brought me a new courage - I competed in some of the country's biggest competitions for the first time. I learned that it's never the placement that counts, so much as the experience of being on the floor with a person you trust, the music behind you, and people in the stands who are pulling for you, and are proud of you.

With my parents, I drove across the country and as they returned home, I struggled to settle into a new life as a student and a southern transplant. Being in Durham has shown me that to be happy in something, you have to invest in it, 100%, and that those who love you most want nothing more than for you to be happy, even if it means you might never come back.

Though I've moved to another place, I have found many of my longest friendships rekindled and been reminded that true friendships never die, no matter how many years pass. My new friends - at Duke and in Durham - provide some of my greatest pleasures there, and I have been perpetually grateful for the number of good-hearted people I have met.

As I found a new coach, and a new studio, my dancing has found a new quality. I will never cease to be amazed and indebted to the great generosity and spirit of the dance family I've found at UNC and at Piper Glen.

I've had the great privilege of being back in school at the same time as many of my closest friends. We are blessed indeed to be studying fields that we are truly passionate about - both academically and professionally.

Lastly, I was reminded of how much I value spontaneity, and traveling with a good friend, a trip to Lisbon ignited my desire for the experience of new countries and people.

2010: This is a year of satisfactions, one in which I may see the reward of the changes I made last year. I will have my first professional experience in my new field, will be fully immersed in a science-heavy courseload, and will be embarking on new adventures personally and academically. I hope I will give back some of the great love and energy that has been given so freely to me...I hope we will find this happiness together.
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