My work today is intense and focused. We interns eat lunch quickly, just 20 minutes break, while Laly and Buddy meet with a partner all day. Then, happily back to work.
The euphoria from yesterday holds into today. Something has turned in me and freed me from my fears. I am tired of so many months of letting life swing me along, caught in the river’s rush, the sensation of my choices being inevitable. I feel as if every moment is within my grasp now. In the morning, Tonui comes into the classroom, “Swala pala,” he says, beckoning us. From behind one of the curtains of the big round, we peek, and just 200 feet from the patio is a herd of impala. They blend in with the beige grasses behind them, perpetually concerned. This place truly is magical.
At the end of the day I stretch, and then go to the patio to write in my own journal. Myina lights the lanterns around the patios, bats flicker overhead, and the air smells like fragrance and incense. I sit there while darkness languishes in, the horizon long and wide before me. With every breath, happiness flows into my cells.
I think of the events that brought me to so much fear and insecurity from the past year, and for the first time, I realize that I feel gratitude rather than pain. That’s more like it, I tell myself. This is the me I know – learning from the past rather than regretting it, finding strength and confidence from failure, and seizing, finally, the possibilities of today.